chajedidiah

I could rant away all my worries and frustrations… But with just one smile, one look, one hug… all of my so-called “problems” vanished into thin air.

It was my 3^rd time to visit this community in Rizal. Kuya Jaimz (our official photographer and driver –and who is by the way a prof in UPd Engg with a PhD) brought us to this community to see Christ in action. When we got there, the classes had already started. Kids were grouped according to age/grade level. Some where in a hall turned into a classroom and some are under shades of trees. The crew (Cha, Kythe, Vids, Sey, Roy, Chuck –Garner had a tutorial job) were separated to join each group. I went to a kinder class.

The Kinder class:

Kids doodled their names (James Barrientos, James Barrientos, James Barrientos until all the lines were filled out), painstakingly draw straight lines (that turned out to be crooked but they still went on), and racked their brains on the proper colors matching the drawings (a black sun, a red cloud, a pink heart). At first I just observed but I can’t help not to talk to them and guide them through their task for the day.

The community

This community is a ministry handled by Kuya Willy Manubay. He is a full time staff of the Navigators who focuses on Small Biblical Communities. These kids are the children of parents who are also part of the church that was built there (hhmm I should really ask Kuya Jaimz the name of that community in Rizal). While being with the kids, I also look at Kuya Willy from time to time and I always wonder how he manages to put all of these together. By being a full time staff, he has strong faith that God will provide all he needs, his family needs and what the community needs through people who also believes in this community.

Let us admit it. Poverty can be so prevalent and more real that we can ever imagine but poverty has also been a cliché. We see all types of poverty from news, documentaries, movies, on the streets, political campaigns, print ads and so on…

We are saturated by poverty campaigns that our system has accepted it as a fact of life. Thus, after a shed of tear, a lump in the throat, and a fast beating heart, we don’t do anything with what we have seen. These kids have seen poverty straight in the face but they still have hope for a great future and happiness to them can be like receiving a 2 peso Spanish bread after a day’s class.

…

While being with the kids, I prayed … I prayed that they will not lose their passion and always believe in the power of goodness no matter how bad their situations are. I prayed that their values will not be corrupted. I prayed that they will always see how Christ has been working in their lives as they grow.

I don’t have all the smart answers to solve poverty but being with the kids, I was in touch again with reality. The reality that even if poverty is present, there are people who still go out to help. People who volunteered as teachers to make kids enjoy learning at no costs, people who give, people who help in their transformation. Transformation that is more powerful than a piso coin we give to a beggar that only helps him in a while. Transformation that is from the soul.

Can’t you see the greatest Action Star working through all these??? Go climb a mountain, dive the seas, stretch your arms and see the fields, spend time with kids, go to hospitals that even a glimpse of hope is what they need, look into yourself, see how you have been created then you will see that the greatest action star is Jesus Christ...

“I could rant away all my worries and frustrations… But with just one smile, one look, one hug… all of my so-called “problems” vanished into thin air.” ~~my ranting is back again after a day’s work, but I do pray I will be better than who I am now.

Yesterday was one of my worst nights ever!!!

I lost my laptop… and not just any laptop… she has a name…. Cheechee (from Cha + Chuckie= ChCh

Cheechee was a gift from my dad… she came in a time when I badly needed her… a time when my thesis partner, Gel, and I are staying late nights just to finish the one last thing we have to do to graduate. Even though Gel would make fun of her name, I knew that she got attached to it too…

Cheechee and I have spent moments of laughter and tears. She gave me joy as I watched reruns of LOTR, Gladiator and all my fave films. We shared music together, great music together. She was there when I feel nostalgic about my family and friends. She showed me my happy moments with them. She holds many secrets about me too… writings that I never showed to anyone. She painstakingly stayed up even when sleep engulfed me. Even if she was a bit heavy, I would still lovingly bring her to my hometown, sleep overs and even in the mountains of Benguet. So many memories together….

The most painful part is that I lost Cheechee to someone I trusted. I lost her to my housemate… Syeeeet! Talking about breaking trust. Is this the payment for being so trustful? And that girl even has the same name as my mom: Cherry!!! Gaaaaaaaaad… to think that I even considered you as a friend and even let you in my room and talked to you, shared stories with you. It still is a puzzle to me how these kinds of people exist and has the face to show up and give a smile and even has the courage to be a part of your life.

Now, I am just like the Little Prince who has a rose… this rose who seems just like the other millions of roses… but it’s never alike really… a conversation of Little Prince and Fox struck me: "Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."

It ‘s a time for me when technology is not just technology… when a gadget is not just something I tinker… it is when a “thing” became part of my life and holds memories of what I have been through.

This was my text to the “cradle snatcher” : Cherry, di ko alam if mababasa mo pa to. But when u do, I hope u still have the conscience na pag-isipan ung ginawa mo. Ung laptop na kinuha mo ay hindi lang bagay para sakin. Cheechee and pangalan niya at gift siya sakin ng dad ko. Ang sakit lang kc tinuring kitang friend while u were here. I just pray that when you'll have kids, hindi mapass on sakanila ang mga bad characters mo. If u find fulfillment in stealing things then I pray that ul stop before it gets bad for you…”

Cheechee, I’m sorry if I wasn’t able to protect you from the “cradle snatcher”. And Lord, I pray that even if I always get jaded of trusting (or even loving), that you would always sustain me… that you would always let me see the good in a person… and that I will always be reminded that you are still my top fave. I also pray that those kind of people will still find it in their hearts the will to change…

Haaaaay……... I miss you Cheechee…

(check out my friend Katrina P.’s blog to know the context of this entry…)

I, too, is on a quest… a quest to find my one great love. I guess everyone wants a fairy tale story of happily ever afters… of forevers.

But the sad reality is that some of us would never find it. We get lost in the woods.

Some found it and let it go, thinking it wasn’t the one and moved on to the next castle to find their love.

Some found it but the other thought otherwise. Like Prince Charming losing Fiona to Shrek.

Some get jaded and fear cripples in, leaving love behind.

And for the blessed, “eureka!” and lived a life they’ve always dreamed of.

As for me, if you want to know that One Great Love, the answer is already there. Read your Bible. Yep, you can say there she goes again with her yadah yadah yadah.

Now, I may have put your romantic ideas about love down the drain but I’m not sorry for that. You can actually stop reading from here and go back to your comfy cushioned love thoughts.

But if you wanna read… then thank you.

True to it, the Bible give us our One Great Love… Jesus.

He loves like no other. I would always see it as a crazy love because He faithfully loves me even in my most unfaithful times. Just the thought of it gives me a “high”. Though I can be a bit rebellious at times and say “heck! I want something more than what you can give, then I would do just that. Have it. But reality kicks in and I would realzie that it was not what I was looking for.

I once thought that I have found that great love of mine only to be disillusioned. Jesus was there, waiting for me, as I slowly went back to him… head down, tears in my eyes and a broken heart. I felt the most soothing comfort in His presence and slowly I started to pick each and every piece of me and handed it to him saying “Lord, I entrust these broken pieces of me to you. I hope mighty bond can still fix it.” Hay! Amazing because with Him, no mighty bond is needed!!!

Best of all, He is not selfish because I know in my heart that He has someone in mind for me. My Prince that would really sweep me off my feet (I’m crossing my fingers now). I can be very impatient at times and always nagged Him where that Prince is because I want Him NOW. And sometimes I feel like He’s smiling as I winced with my lonely thoughts and my love fantasies.

A friend once asked me if who will I choose: the one who loves me or the one I love? I said with no hesitation, the one I love. It gives me happiness to love someone and give it all. Pains will come I know, but there’s Jesus who doesn’t need a mighty bond to heal me and who continuously supply me with crazy love.

Some of you may have a hard time relating to this entry but the crazy me who once thought that life is just that made a choice to enter into His glory. I packed my bags and personally went on and took the road to Him and this is what I found. My One Great Love.

Disclaimer: To my future Prince (whoever you might be), I’m not saying that I just love you so so. You’re my great love too. Just promise me we’ll gonna go sky diving, bungee jumping, scuba, climb the trail to Machu Picchu, have a romantic dinner at a gondola, watch tons of movies together, food tripping, watch all the sunsets and sunrises, have our cute babies, … am I asking too much? Oooppss sorry. Last, promise me we’ll gonna watch awesome fireworks together, best conversations, a love to last a lifetime… now I should really shut up. Period. No erase.