chajedidiah

Yesterday was one of my worst nights ever!!!

I lost my laptop… and not just any laptop… she has a name…. Cheechee (from Cha + Chuckie= ChCh

Cheechee was a gift from my dad… she came in a time when I badly needed her… a time when my thesis partner, Gel, and I are staying late nights just to finish the one last thing we have to do to graduate. Even though Gel would make fun of her name, I knew that she got attached to it too…

Cheechee and I have spent moments of laughter and tears. She gave me joy as I watched reruns of LOTR, Gladiator and all my fave films. We shared music together, great music together. She was there when I feel nostalgic about my family and friends. She showed me my happy moments with them. She holds many secrets about me too… writings that I never showed to anyone. She painstakingly stayed up even when sleep engulfed me. Even if she was a bit heavy, I would still lovingly bring her to my hometown, sleep overs and even in the mountains of Benguet. So many memories together….

The most painful part is that I lost Cheechee to someone I trusted. I lost her to my housemate… Syeeeet! Talking about breaking trust. Is this the payment for being so trustful? And that girl even has the same name as my mom: Cherry!!! Gaaaaaaaaad… to think that I even considered you as a friend and even let you in my room and talked to you, shared stories with you. It still is a puzzle to me how these kinds of people exist and has the face to show up and give a smile and even has the courage to be a part of your life.

Now, I am just like the Little Prince who has a rose… this rose who seems just like the other millions of roses… but it’s never alike really… a conversation of Little Prince and Fox struck me: "Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."

It ‘s a time for me when technology is not just technology… when a gadget is not just something I tinker… it is when a “thing” became part of my life and holds memories of what I have been through.

This was my text to the “cradle snatcher” : Cherry, di ko alam if mababasa mo pa to. But when u do, I hope u still have the conscience na pag-isipan ung ginawa mo. Ung laptop na kinuha mo ay hindi lang bagay para sakin. Cheechee and pangalan niya at gift siya sakin ng dad ko. Ang sakit lang kc tinuring kitang friend while u were here. I just pray that when you'll have kids, hindi mapass on sakanila ang mga bad characters mo. If u find fulfillment in stealing things then I pray that ul stop before it gets bad for you…”

Cheechee, I’m sorry if I wasn’t able to protect you from the “cradle snatcher”. And Lord, I pray that even if I always get jaded of trusting (or even loving), that you would always sustain me… that you would always let me see the good in a person… and that I will always be reminded that you are still my top fave. I also pray that those kind of people will still find it in their hearts the will to change…

Haaaaay……... I miss you Cheechee…

(check out my friend Katrina P.’s blog to know the context of this entry…)

I, too, is on a quest… a quest to find my one great love. I guess everyone wants a fairy tale story of happily ever afters… of forevers.

But the sad reality is that some of us would never find it. We get lost in the woods.

Some found it and let it go, thinking it wasn’t the one and moved on to the next castle to find their love.

Some found it but the other thought otherwise. Like Prince Charming losing Fiona to Shrek.

Some get jaded and fear cripples in, leaving love behind.

And for the blessed, “eureka!” and lived a life they’ve always dreamed of.

As for me, if you want to know that One Great Love, the answer is already there. Read your Bible. Yep, you can say there she goes again with her yadah yadah yadah.

Now, I may have put your romantic ideas about love down the drain but I’m not sorry for that. You can actually stop reading from here and go back to your comfy cushioned love thoughts.

But if you wanna read… then thank you.

True to it, the Bible give us our One Great Love… Jesus.

He loves like no other. I would always see it as a crazy love because He faithfully loves me even in my most unfaithful times. Just the thought of it gives me a “high”. Though I can be a bit rebellious at times and say “heck! I want something more than what you can give, then I would do just that. Have it. But reality kicks in and I would realzie that it was not what I was looking for.

I once thought that I have found that great love of mine only to be disillusioned. Jesus was there, waiting for me, as I slowly went back to him… head down, tears in my eyes and a broken heart. I felt the most soothing comfort in His presence and slowly I started to pick each and every piece of me and handed it to him saying “Lord, I entrust these broken pieces of me to you. I hope mighty bond can still fix it.” Hay! Amazing because with Him, no mighty bond is needed!!!

Best of all, He is not selfish because I know in my heart that He has someone in mind for me. My Prince that would really sweep me off my feet (I’m crossing my fingers now). I can be very impatient at times and always nagged Him where that Prince is because I want Him NOW. And sometimes I feel like He’s smiling as I winced with my lonely thoughts and my love fantasies.

A friend once asked me if who will I choose: the one who loves me or the one I love? I said with no hesitation, the one I love. It gives me happiness to love someone and give it all. Pains will come I know, but there’s Jesus who doesn’t need a mighty bond to heal me and who continuously supply me with crazy love.

Some of you may have a hard time relating to this entry but the crazy me who once thought that life is just that made a choice to enter into His glory. I packed my bags and personally went on and took the road to Him and this is what I found. My One Great Love.

Disclaimer: To my future Prince (whoever you might be), I’m not saying that I just love you so so. You’re my great love too. Just promise me we’ll gonna go sky diving, bungee jumping, scuba, climb the trail to Machu Picchu, have a romantic dinner at a gondola, watch tons of movies together, food tripping, watch all the sunsets and sunrises, have our cute babies, … am I asking too much? Oooppss sorry. Last, promise me we’ll gonna watch awesome fireworks together, best conversations, a love to last a lifetime… now I should really shut up. Period. No erase.